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[Nov. 19th, 2005|02:39 am] [ How I'm Feeling | Tired Yet Satisfied ] [ music | This Love (Acoustic Ver.) - Maroon5 ] EEP. This last week has been crazy. Procratination sucks when you have to actually do the homework. Math homework plus a math lab and a math pretest plus studying and taking a Math test all in one week. I am sooo tired of Math. Put that together with an essay due in english and spazzing out about a music theory test that i took last week and you've got a pretty busy week. Oh I had to also regester for classes this week as well. Planning a schedule that would work too k forever. Hopefully I've picked good classes. Bio i think will be my most difficult simply for the number i have to dedicate just to attending the class. Around 3 hours a week plus a 3 or so hour lab session. At least by the looks of it I won't have any class on Friday so that means I can sleep in for once. yay. ^^. The good thing about this week is that I just was able to watch Harry Potter. I dunno I kinda have mixed feelings on the movie. Right now I'll warn for spoilers. If you haven't seen the movie yet and don't want to find out what happens don't read the next paragraph. The movie itself i think was very well done. The special effects of the spells like the disarming and the bubble head were quite splendid. The scenery as always was almost epic in their design. The problem I think lies in the fact that i read the book and as a result found that there were quite a few dissapointments. I realize that because this was a movie the directors are working with a limited amount of time as well as a large amount of story that they have to cram into that alloted space but for some reason to me the gaps in the story really made me feel that it took away from the overall movie. Ignoring times such as when the Weasleys come to retrieve Harry from the Durseys and the time Hagrid and Madam Maxime talk in the garden of being giants or at least Hagrid was talking about being Half-Giant. They also crammed a bunch of scenes together like the pensive cases of Karkoff and Crounch. They introduced Crouches past by him being named as a death eater by karkoff and trying to flee the court. They don't even go into how he got out of Azkaban. Dunbledore simply says that if they were to check there would be probably be 1 prisnor missing. They even changed the story in some cases such as totally omitting Doppy and have Neville give the gillyweed to Harry for the second task as well as Harry flying over the castle during the first task and falling off his broom onto the roof. I guess it was easier to fit everything in by making these changes but for some reason it just doesn't seem right to me. I do enjoy some of the scenes that they added that were not in to book such as the one where McGonagall trys to teach Ron to dance but if they had enough time to include those scenes why didn't they just un condense some of the crammed together ones to make the film more fluid. I mean sometimes during the film it even seemed choppy because of all teh scences they had to cut. My advise is that if you've read the book you should still see the movie because it is good just don't expect it to follow too closely with the story line of the book. If you haven't read the book and you see the movie please realized that if you loved the movie you'll probably like the book even more. Soon Winterbreak will be here and I really can't wait for that to happen as I think I'm going to need it. Especially after exams. That's all for now. link 1 comment|post comment

So much to do [Nov. 10th, 2005|01:48 am] [ How I'm Feeling | Tired Yet Content ] [ music | Harder to Breathe (Acoustic Ver.) - Maroon 5 ] Alright with only a few weeks left in the semester it's now getting a bit more difficult in all my classes. I just finished quizzes in my math and anthropology classes and had an exam in psychology. Still got a music theory test coming up in like 12 or so hours probably a bit more and then next week i got a math test along with a pretest probably somewhere in there. Finals will be comming soon in all my classes so studying is going to be a issue coming up. I still have to pick out my classes for next semester. I need to find some sort of balance so that my GPA doesn't drop like a stone. I also have to make sure that I don't take too many easy courses because that means that i'll have to take all the harder ones all in the same semester. EEEEEP. Scheduleing is ganna be a huge problem. With the classes i'm planning on taking i hope they aren't going to be full when i regester. I may have to wake up at 12 in the morning of the day regestration opens so that i can make some of the classe that i need. I think the comming semester may actually be the hardest one comming up because i have to take an english, bio, bio psych, history and and arts class all in the same semester. From what I hear history is actually quite grueling and bio is ganna be difficult with all the labs. Ah well I know that I'll manage somehow. I'm ganna have to. ^^ On the brightside there are alot of awesome movies coming out soon. Harry Potter 4: The Goblet of Fire being the one I want to see the most.^^ The weather is also perfect for staying home and reading which is always fun.:] Not to mention all the holidays looming just around the corner. Winter break is ganna be HUGE. I am totally looking forward to it. I'm ganna try and catch up on my sleep and actually sleep in for once. It's kinda sad that as a college student i have yet to have a weekday where i have slept pass 7 in the morning. Maybe next year I'll be able to get some classes that start a bit later.^^ So that's about it. I think i might just go read a book or something now.^^ link 1 comment|post comment

Wow. Im soooo tired. [Oct. 14th, 2005|01:03 am] [ How I'm Feeling | contemplative ] [ music | Listen to Your Heart (Piano) - D.H.T ] Gah. So many things to do. Midterms are coming up with a bunch of homework to do. Math, Anth, Psyche, Music, Eng and TKD. EEEP. Just gotta suck it up and push on with the studying. Sometimes I just don't know. Lately things just haven't felt right. Everyday I wake up, drive my sis to school, then drive to college only to have to wait an hour for class, then depending on the day i either go to the library for 3 hours or got to another class. It all seems like im really not accomplishing anything. Its wierd because i can't chill with many people after class because i got either work or more class or i have to go back and pick up my sister. Don't get me wrong. I'm cool with the work and the studying and even the driving. It just seems like something is missing. When i look around at the people in the cafe or even in class i can't help but think about how easily people are able to talk with each other and how, when looking at couples, close some people are. Sometimes i just wonder why I'm doing all of the things im doing and if it even matters. I don't know where to go from here or how. I just want to know whats the right thing to do. link post comment

uh... [Sep. 27th, 2005|12:49 am] [ How I'm Feeling | contemplative ] [ music | Earth, Wind, and Fire- September ] Ok, so its been a while since the last update. A few things on college. Anth 1 is awesome. My prof makes the subject matter really interesting. I might take Anth 3 next Sem deppending on how well i do in this class. Math 44 AKA stat is ok for me. Though i have to admit it is quite interesting. Psych 1 was probably a mistake. I took it in AP last year and now i seem to know everything up till now that my prof. has been talking about. bleh. TKD is AWESOME. P.E. classes are fun.^^ Plus the class is based entirely on attendence. WOOT. Eng1A is ganna be VERY difficult for me. Im not used to writing autobigraphical/ biographical stuff. At least not well. I got research papers down and hopefully i'll be able to get this down as well. Music6 AKA Music Theory. All I can say is WTF. Holy Crap this stuff is HARD. It's prolly my hardest class with Eng coming second. I do however have a plus about college. The food is AWESOME. So much better than the cafateria food in High School. ZOMG. They even have RICE. Not the crappy microwave kind but the delicious, fluffy, tasty kind that you actually cook in water. So yeah. ^^ Overall good classes with good Professors. Hopefully i'll be able to do well in all of them. link 2 comments|post comment

long time since the last update [Aug. 19th, 2005|12:32 pm] [ How I'm Feeling | thoughtful ] [ music | It's so hard to say goodbye ] It's been a while. Actually a long while, since i updated my journal. To be honest the last few weeks have been pretty rough for me. In fact this entire summer has been pretty damn rough. I found out that my dad never believed i could pass high school. My mom never believed that i would get higher than c's. The people that i work for are scheduleing me on days that they said i didnt have to work. I've been closing when i asked not to. Now they want me to work an extra week after i put in my two week notice two weeks ago. The people i care about are about to leave for college and i may never see them again. My first day of college involved me standing in the sun for an hour doing nothing waiting for a fire alarm turn off. Then waiting another half an hour for the fire alarm to turn off when it went off a second time while i was trying to get a parking pass. I've realized that i really dont compare to other guys out there when it comes to relationship or even friendship for that matter. And to top it all off I feel like my heart has been broken many times in the last three months both by family and friends and honestly i dont know how much more i can take. I just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I could go into detail if anyone really wants to know but for now i'll leave it at a summery. Hopefully everyone that I care about is having a better summer than me.^^ link 3 comments|post comment

I just don't know [Jul. 12th, 2005|01:14 am] [ How I'm Feeling | thoughtful ] [ music | I'll Never Break Your Heart ] Should I tell the girl I like about how I feel about her? Should I tell her how much she means to me? Should I tell her how great she truly is? Should I ask her to go out with me? Even if it means we might not be friends anymore? Should I risk the friendship that we have for a possible better relationship? Can I deal with the akwardness if she doesn't feel the same way about me? What will I do if she says that she doesn't feel the same? How can I deal with losing her? Should I let things continue as they are even if it hurts? How can I put this kind of pressure on her? What if she says that she does feel the same? Do I even deserve her? How can I make her happy? What if I'm preventing her from meeting someone better? What if I'm just not good enough? What should I do? link 1 comment|post comment

Summer YAY! [Jun. 28th, 2005|07:41 pm] [ How I'm Feeling | hopeful ] [ music | All I have to give ] Wow. I got my report card a little bit ago. I graduated. I'm not in high school anymore. No more pointless rallys, no more spirit days that involve me having to put on pruple and gold, no more teachers that cause me physical pain to even hear their voice. Im a college student now... HOLY CRAP!!!!111oneoneone ZOMG. I can't believe they passed me.I realize that from here on out it get harder but that doesn't mean i can't be excited. wow. But then again there are things to be sad about. No more brunch hangouts, No more lunchtime picnics, no more hanging on the grassyknoll, and most importantly the probability of no more contact with high school friends. Over the course of my high school years their have been bad days, in fact their have been alot of them, but to tell you the truth i wouldn't trade those years for anything. Because during those 4 years I have met some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. People who have honestly changed my life. I used to think that high school was just a big waste of time. But i have learned so much in these past four years. Not all of it academic, but lessons that i will carry with me for the duration of my life. Thanks to all my friends who have givin me these lessons. The thing that hurts the most is that i may never speak to some of these people again. When we go to seperate colleges we'll get busy and though we may try to keep in touch their may be other things that also have to get done, like essays and research papers. I know for a fact that for me those things won't stop me from doing my best to keep in touch but i understand that it may affect my friends. Schooling does come first and i want all of them to be sucessful. Not to mention the fact that all of them will meet new friends. Ones that are closer and who they can actually hang with. Friends who share commonalities like the same school campus or classes. I have come to accept all of that and am actually going to be happy for them when that happens because that means that they are working hard toward their future and have support thats close to them instead of someone that is 100 miles away. I can only hope that they will still try to keep in touch while their in college. I just want my friends to know that i will always remember them and all that they have done for me. If any of them ever needs someone to talk to or if they need help don't hesitate to contact me. I'll do my best to keep in touch and i hope that they are sucessful in whatever they pursue. I will be cheering for all of you to do well so give it your all. :] link post comment

Gah! Its been a while. [Jun. 19th, 2005|08:38 pm] [ How I'm Feeling | Sooo Tired ] [ music | For The Girl Who Has Everything ] Work takes wayyy too much of my time. Did i mention I hate the alarm system at Best Buy? I realize haven't updated my lj in the longest time but for right now I'll leave you with a poem. Enjoy. The bumps along our road have left some bruises that won't heal. But the way that you stood by me through everything seemed so unreal. There will always be things about you that I hold so dear. Like the way that you looked at me could never be anything but sincere. You're the sunshine of my world. And I will cradle you, above a wasted few. So don't you walk alone an angel without wings. You give something without knowing, crossing mile and never slowing. My angel without wings. link 1 comment|post comment

lack of sleep is killing me [May. 9th, 2005|05:27 pm] [ How I'm Feeling | Exhausted ] [ music | Why Don't You Kiss Her ] Wow. Not much to say. Running around like a crazy Azn with senior project work and AP testing taking up my time even though i only got 1 AP test. *sweatdrop*. heh ive had to sac sleep as well as a solid sleep schedule to get it all done. Gotta love caffine and energy drinks. Now im going to have to finish up community service. I got most of it done but getting the rest is ganna be hard with a job that has a flux type schedule. Hurrah for the crap that is my life. Senior ball is ganna be fun if it werent for... complications that are happening but through it all its ganna be awesome. Now all thats left is to figure how to make teh night special for my date. WEEEEEEE!!! thats pretty much it so Bai Bai link 1 comment|post comment

[Apr. 9th, 2005|05:47 am] [ How I'm Feeling | sick and worried ] [ music | Li Yu Da Na (Nice Bath Isn't It?) ] Wow. This last week has been crazy. Apparently I suffer from a combo of migriane and stomach acid problems. Currently on meds that somewhat help though im still getting the migraines here and there. I was out for a week. Nothing like feeling like crap after a shitty spring break. Huzzah. At least i was able to be there for my friends as much as i could. I did all i could i only hope it was enough. i can only imagine the work im going to have to make up when i get back. Ugh. O well i shall find a way to accomplish it all. On the upside i think i found someone i want to ask to prom. Huzzah. ^^ Now all I have to do if figure out how im going ot ask and when. Then I have to get the courage to ask and hope that she says yes. Heh wow this should be interesting to say the least. ^^;; Next week is ganna be hard. On a totally side note those silly japanese were actually able to create a song entirly on baths. The thing is that its actually good. I mean holy crap!! A song about freaking baths. :] Maybe its just me but I think its a great song. So yeah. Ugh. I just realized that dancing is involved at Senior Ball. ^^;;. I can't dance or rather i can dance, just rather badly. Wow this is ganna be REALLY interesting. Heh. I'm still hoping i can make the night special for my date whomever she may be.^^ Thats about it so Bai Bai. link post comment

WAAAAA! [Mar. 29th, 2005|05:10 am] [ How I'm Feeling | hopeful ] Hurrah. Spring break is here. Time for rest and fun. Too bad its not looking like it for me. I've had a job interview, family time, chores, senior project and sickness to keep me busy. The last one sucking the most. There is some goodness that came out of all that. Barring a drug and backround check I now have a job. Hurrah. ^^. My Senior project is now back on track and i gots alot of my chores done. I'm still a little sick but hopefully i'll be alright by next week when school starts up again. heh. Now the main thing I have to worry about is SENIOR BALL. I'm pretty sure that I'll be freaking out about it for some time. I have no idea who i should ask or what i should do when i ask. Should i get flowers? Chocolate? stuffed animal? all of the above? What will i say? Ask her the simple "Would you like to go to Senior Ball with me?" or something more flashyer like "Yo how bouts we go to the ball together?". Not to mention what I'm sppose to do once i get to SENIOR BALL.*sigh*. I just hope that I can make the night special for my date.^^. I just have no idea.*shrug*. Looks like I'll be panicking for the next week or so. I guess it's not much of a break for me after all. Oh well. That's about it so... Bai Bai. link 1 comment|post comment

[Feb. 26th, 2005|01:33 am] [ How I'm Feeling | hopeful ] Wow it's been a while since my last update. Nothing huge happening as of yet. I am excited about Senior Ball as I've decided to go. Now all that's left is to find a date... Anyway it should be fun. ^^ Asking someone to teh Ball is ganna be hard though. *shrug* I realize that it's quite far away but thinking about it early isn't a bad option especially because many of the girls may be going with someone else already. Hopefully someone will want to go with me.^^ EEEEEP. That means I have to get a tux as well. OOOh and pretty flowers on a corsage <------spelling. Lately I havent been able to get much sleep which kinda sux but I guess thats the way things go. *sigh* I havent been feeling too good lately either. It really is a bummer. O well I am looking forward to Senior Ball and hopefully it will be fun. So yeah nothing much else to say. Bai Bai. link 1 comment|post comment

tiredness... [Jan. 24th, 2005|01:11 am] [ How I'm Feeling | tired ] It's been a while since my last update but there really isn't much to say. At least my life hasn't gotten much worse. If anything it's actually getting better somewhat. *sigh* I am just so tired of teh crap that happens to me and my shittness in general. I'm still looking for Romance and still can't find any. That's actually pretty good because I'm kinda worried about what happens if I am able to find it and I mess up. That would suck soooo bad. What if I'm not good enough and I can't be that special person for the person I like...I mean gah just thinking about it makes me sad... I just don't know if I am good enough for Romantic relationship with the person I like. It's just very sad that's all.*sigh* Anyway... so yeah. Not much else to say so Bai Bai. link 2 comments|post comment

so very tired of everything [Dec. 21st, 2004|01:28 am] [ How I'm Feeling | so very tired ] *sigh* Not much to say right now. Life really has me tired out at the moment. There just seem to be an end in sight for all the crap that's been happening to me lately. I just don't know what to do anyomore. Apparently im not good enough for my family. My mom just told me i disgusted her and im a dissapointment to both my parents. My sister i guess im cool with but we don't talk that much she has way too much on her plate and sometimes im worried that she might enter burnout which is a very bad thing. One of us has to make our parents proud and at this point i think that person is ganna be her so im trying everything i can to help so that she can at least become sucessful. Blah. Then there's the realization that im just not good enough at anything. I mean it. It's like i just can do anything right especially in the things that matter most to me. I mean i have tried everything that i could to be a good friend, to be a good person but i just keep on failing. My friends deserve the best. The best person to talk to, the best person to hang with, and the best person to turn to and no matter how hard i try i just don't seem to be that person. To all my friends that i have failed im sorry ive tried my best and i have fallen short. I realize now that i may not be the best person to be your friend and im sorry. Don't get me started on my non existant romantic life. *sigh*. It just does't seem to work out for me no matter what i try. Im just so tired of everything right now. I guess thats the way life is going to be for me. Thats about it so. Bai Bai. link 3 comments|post comment

eh... [Dec. 15th, 2004|02:18 am] [ How I'm Feeling | unbelievably loney ] Every time i think about Romance it seems that i run into a roadblock. i mean i believe that everyone out there probably has that special someone that they are meant to be with, i just don't think that i do. When i look at the people i know who have a boyfriend/Girlfriend/Significant other it just reminds me of how great it must be to have someone like that. It just seems that I may never find someone like that. Even assuming i am able to find that person i am meant to be with, the fact is that i may not even be good enough for them. I mean that one person is supposed to be the perfect person for me but what if i can't be that person for them. What if i can't do all the things that im supposed to do? What if i can't do all the things i want to do? There just doesn't seem a way for me to actually be that kind of person for someone. Sometimes it just hurts to think that i may be the only one in the world who doesn't have that person thats meant for me. *sigh* I guess that's just the way things go for me. link 1 comment|post comment

Explaining Teh Pic [Dec. 10th, 2004|03:59 pm] [ How I'm Feeling | lonely ] Its been a while so i guess i'll start this update explaining my pic. For those who don't know it's from the Anime Love Hina. The pic features teh main protagonist as well as his romantic interest. The thing i find most intriguing about the story is the fact that the main character, Keitaro, is a clutz. When i say clutz i mean totally and utterly hopeless. He also isn't the most H O T T guy you'll ever see. He failed his entrance exams 2 times to a prestigous University in Japan before the beggining of the story. The college seems hopelessly out of his reach but he is determined to go because of a promise he made when he was about 5 years old to a girl whom he knew as a kid. They got seperated when they were young and now he is hoping that he can find her at the college once he gets in. Anyway so yeah he goes to a boarding house for all girls and chaos ensues, but through it all it seems that Keitaro always seems to be tripping up and messing up everytime he tries to help or be nice. At the inn he finds Naru whom he finds he has a crush on. To make a long story short Naru is the one that he made the promise to and they eventually hook up. The thing is is that Naru is this somewhat perfect gril whose smart, attractive, caring and considerate and Keitaro is well... not even close to someone whom you would think deserves such a perfect girl but in spite of all his bad qualities Naru still falls for him because apparently she likes the person that Keitaro is. In a way i feel like Keitaro, hopelessly inadequite and i have no idea why anyone at all would like someone like me. So this image has some meaning for me and hopefully i might be able to find someone who likes me even though i suck. *shrug* i just don't know. link 1 comment|post comment

This is Interesting... [Dec. 2nd, 2004|12:07 am] [ How I'm Feeling | optimistic ] Well this is my first entry in teh Live Journal. Right now I don't really have much to say but hopefully as time goes on I have more things to write about. Alot of the options on teh journal are impressive and trying to pick the right mood icons is kinda difficult. *shrug* I like the foxs and the kitties so im kinda stuck right now. Too bad they don't have any good Pandas for me to choose from. O well. Hopefully I can write something good next time. link 1 comment|post comment

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